I Did

 After a mammogram and a sonogram on March 9th at 3:30 PM, my husband and I were given the preliminary news that the lump in my breast was cancer.   We have the kindest, most wonderful doctor, but how do you break this kind of news to someone?  Dr. Siler told us in the sweetest manner possible.  We knew he was truly sorry to have to give us this kind of news.  Bill and I were in shock for most of the evening.  We reviewed in our own minds and together just what the doctor said.  There was no way around it, no matter how we tried to manipulate his words, I had cancer.

What is so hard really, is knowing that you have cancer but not knowing all the details.  Is this get-able?  When will I start treatment?  How long will it take?  What surgery is required?  And more and more!  I realized those were details for the next appointments.  My doctor had said, "Let's NOT get ahead of ourselves."  That's a lesson I'm still working on! The waiting game is hard.

Honestly it goes against my grain to be 'down'.  I can only handle that state so long and then I have to start working on my attitude.  Getting ready for church Sunday morning I prayed fervently that God would show His presence to us through music, through the message and through the people.  We were 'open' to receiving any encouragement and support.  We knew we could NOT do this on our own.  Facing us that afternoon were the phone calls we had to make to our children.  We really needed God's strength to pull this off.
The next entry is my experience at church that Sunday.  I believe with all my heart that because I was open and ready to hear, see, feel God, that I DID.