Who doesn't love Spring Break? Everyone needs a little break from their jobs once in awhile! I've always loved spring break. So nice to sleep in, spend time with the kids, clean closets, and just catch up!
This spring break was much different for me. Frankly, I was dreading the week! The kids' spring breaks did not coincide with mine. Jordan's was in early March, Taylor had been home the week before, and Dane was on choir tour during his spring break. Many teachers were heading to Florida with the band and Buhler Singers. Others were traveling to various locations. Bill would be working all week. I was afraid of being home alone! I was afraid my support system would all be gone. And I was afraid I would have too much 'think' time.
Actually much of my spring break would be spent at the clinic. Appointments on Monday, surgery on Wednesday to insert the port catheter, and another appointment on Friday.
Sunday afternoon my sister-in-law, Carol, called. Carol lives 8 hours away from us. I was surprised that she was only 45 minutes away. She had sent two messages on facebook, the first one informing us that she was coming our way, but I had only noticed the second message asking us to give Dane a hug for her. I replied, "Sure I can do that!" I had no idea she was coming! Her arrival was a God-send, a huge answer to prayer! She would be in our area until Wednesday, visiting her dad and spending time with us and our cousin. What a sigh of relief. I wouldn't be alone after all! Surely I could make it the rest of the week on my own!
Monday night I got a call from my sister who lives in Houston. She asked, "Would you like some company on Wednesday?" Of course, I would! But Jane? Yes, Jane! She was flying in to Wichita and would arrive around noon, just about the time I would be getting home from surgery! She would be staying until Sunday evening! WOW!!! Another HUGE answer to prayer!
Did I love Spring Break? You bet I did, even amongst the surgery and the still unanswered questions!
Lesson Learned: God will never leave us alone. He provides all of our needs.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Blessed Assurance
The next week Cynde and another friend, Annette, were in Boston for a convention. Cynde called as they were walking to the Old North Church. Knowing that Annette is a prayer warrior, I asked Cynde to share with Annette about what I was going through. I wanted as many prayers as possible!
What is next is Annette's testimony of what happened that day in the Old North Church.
As we walked up to the church this feeling of awe became very intense. I know this was the Holy Spirit saying "this is your person to love and this is where I am going to use you." As we walked in the church, my stomach had butterflies and my eyes were filled with tears. I was standing in the place where our founding fathers worshiped. Where our God had answered their prayers. They worshiped free from the king and they worshiped the same God we worship today. The same God that continues today to give great comfort.
I found a spot away from the group and began to pray. I prayed that our Jesus fill you with comfort. I prayed for your doctors to be wise and for the Holy Spirit to guide their steps. I prayed for your kids to feel comfort in knowing you are a follower of Christ. I prayed that somehow someway that our Lord and Savior be glorified by all of this and the pain be eased.
I then took the opportunity to pray for my family and thank God for all the blessings He has given us that we don't deserve. I prayed a prayer of thanks for people many years before us being brave to follow His lead so that I might have the opportunity to pray and worship whenever and however I wanted to without fear of persecution.
I then wanted some quiet worship so I noticed the hymns were still posted from the week before. I opened the Old English hymn to the number posted. I don't remember the name, but as I read those familiar words of Blessed Assurance Jesus is mine, Oh what a fortress of Glory Divine. I realized Jesus is and was with them and He is with us. We have blessed Assurance.
Thanks to Annette and Cynde for praying for me in the Old North Church! Oh, guess what song we sang in church the following Sunday? Yep, Blessed Assurance!
I Will Not Be Shaken! Yeah Right!
Sunday morning, March 11th, 2012
I was hurting. I was weak. I was down. I was devastated. I . . . was . . . shaken. You see, on Friday I heard the words ‘breast cancer’. It was coming from the mouth of MY doctor and he was talking about ME! ME! I honestly think he only said the words once, maybe twice, while I was in his office, but I continued to hear them over and over again in my head. Those words resonated louder and louder than anything else that was spoken.
I came to church with a broken heart, a heart that was longing for God. I REALLY needed to feel God’s presence. I had to get out of this slump. My heart was open and ready to soak in all that I possibly could. I really needed to be filled! I HAD to be filled. I knew I couldn’t do this one on my own. This was much too big for me.
Wayne’s genuine handshake, which feels more like “I truly care for you” rather than just a mere welcome to church, Sharon’s pat on the back as she spoke my name, a sincere worship team who had purposefully chosen the music, a prayer warrior praying during a praise song. God’s presence was becoming apparent already.
The sermon. I earnestly prayed the message would be for me! I really needed words that I could carry with me as I started this new journey in my life. Words that could lift me through a biopsy. Words that could embrace me while I waited anxiously for the results. Words that could give us strength to tell our children. Please God, use Lee today! My husband and I are both hurting. Please reveal God’s message to us today!
Psalms 16:8 “I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
What? “I will not be shaken.” I will not be shaken? Oh yes I will and I have proof! Just look at me, just simply look at me today1 I AM SHAKEN! Can’t you tell that I’m hurting? Doesn’t anyone see my pain? Can you see that I am CLEARLY shaken?
“I keep my eyes always on the LORD.” Well, maybe this doesn’t apply to me this weekend. I could easily change that scripture to read more like, “I keep my eyes always on MYSELF!” Or “Take on the ‘all about me’ attitude.” Thanks to our wonderful God, my problem was soon revealed to me. My focus was on me!! There were many other people in church Sunday morning that were hurting just as deeply as I was. Just as quickly as my slump, my devastation, my weakness had hit me, it was starting to disappear. Was I really shaken? My faith never waivered, I had just hit a rough spot.
Yes! I want a life that can't be shaken!!! Yes, I want a glad heart! Yes, I want to have a whole being that rejoices! I have the blessed assurance that God will be with me through any trials that I face. My focus has changed. I will keep my eyes always on the LORD! With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken!
To hear Lee's sermon which included my testimony click on Crossroads Christian Church, March 18th.
I was hurting. I was weak. I was down. I was devastated. I . . . was . . . shaken. You see, on Friday I heard the words ‘breast cancer’. It was coming from the mouth of MY doctor and he was talking about ME! ME! I honestly think he only said the words once, maybe twice, while I was in his office, but I continued to hear them over and over again in my head. Those words resonated louder and louder than anything else that was spoken.
I came to church with a broken heart, a heart that was longing for God. I REALLY needed to feel God’s presence. I had to get out of this slump. My heart was open and ready to soak in all that I possibly could. I really needed to be filled! I HAD to be filled. I knew I couldn’t do this one on my own. This was much too big for me.
Wayne’s genuine handshake, which feels more like “I truly care for you” rather than just a mere welcome to church, Sharon’s pat on the back as she spoke my name, a sincere worship team who had purposefully chosen the music, a prayer warrior praying during a praise song. God’s presence was becoming apparent already.
The sermon. I earnestly prayed the message would be for me! I really needed words that I could carry with me as I started this new journey in my life. Words that could lift me through a biopsy. Words that could embrace me while I waited anxiously for the results. Words that could give us strength to tell our children. Please God, use Lee today! My husband and I are both hurting. Please reveal God’s message to us today!
Psalms 16:8 “I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
What? “I will not be shaken.” I will not be shaken? Oh yes I will and I have proof! Just look at me, just simply look at me today1 I AM SHAKEN! Can’t you tell that I’m hurting? Doesn’t anyone see my pain? Can you see that I am CLEARLY shaken?
“I keep my eyes always on the LORD.” Well, maybe this doesn’t apply to me this weekend. I could easily change that scripture to read more like, “I keep my eyes always on MYSELF!” Or “Take on the ‘all about me’ attitude.” Thanks to our wonderful God, my problem was soon revealed to me. My focus was on me!! There were many other people in church Sunday morning that were hurting just as deeply as I was. Just as quickly as my slump, my devastation, my weakness had hit me, it was starting to disappear. Was I really shaken? My faith never waivered, I had just hit a rough spot.
Yes! I want a life that can't be shaken!!! Yes, I want a glad heart! Yes, I want to have a whole being that rejoices! I have the blessed assurance that God will be with me through any trials that I face. My focus has changed. I will keep my eyes always on the LORD! With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken!
To hear Lee's sermon which included my testimony click on Crossroads Christian Church, March 18th.
I Did
After a mammogram and a sonogram on March 9th at 3:30 PM, my husband and I were given the preliminary news that the lump in my breast was cancer. We have the kindest, most wonderful doctor, but how do you break this kind of news to someone? Dr. Siler told us in the sweetest manner possible. We knew he was truly sorry to have to give us this kind of news. Bill and I were in shock for most of the evening. We reviewed in our own minds and together just what the doctor said. There was no way around it, no matter how we tried to manipulate his words, I had cancer.
What is so hard really, is knowing that you have cancer but not knowing all the details. Is this get-able? When will I start treatment? How long will it take? What surgery is required? And more and more! I realized those were details for the next appointments. My doctor had said, "Let's NOT get ahead of ourselves." That's a lesson I'm still working on! The waiting game is hard.
Honestly it goes against my grain to be 'down'. I can only handle that state so long and then I have to start working on my attitude. Getting ready for church Sunday morning I prayed fervently that God would show His presence to us through music, through the message and through the people. We were 'open' to receiving any encouragement and support. We knew we could NOT do this on our own. Facing us that afternoon were the phone calls we had to make to our children. We really needed God's strength to pull this off.
The next entry is my experience at church that Sunday. I believe with all my heart that because I was open and ready to hear, see, feel God, that I DID.
What is so hard really, is knowing that you have cancer but not knowing all the details. Is this get-able? When will I start treatment? How long will it take? What surgery is required? And more and more! I realized those were details for the next appointments. My doctor had said, "Let's NOT get ahead of ourselves." That's a lesson I'm still working on! The waiting game is hard.
Honestly it goes against my grain to be 'down'. I can only handle that state so long and then I have to start working on my attitude. Getting ready for church Sunday morning I prayed fervently that God would show His presence to us through music, through the message and through the people. We were 'open' to receiving any encouragement and support. We knew we could NOT do this on our own. Facing us that afternoon were the phone calls we had to make to our children. We really needed God's strength to pull this off.
The next entry is my experience at church that Sunday. I believe with all my heart that because I was open and ready to hear, see, feel God, that I DID.
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